How to Get a Coffee Meeting

How many virtual meetings have you had in the last few years? So many that Zoom now feels like a merry-go-round – if you take more than a couple spins a day, you have to lay down to recover?

There’s no denying virtual meetings are convenient, but they can’t replace the power of in person meetings for relationship building that leads to long term success. Knowing this is one thing, but securing that coveted coffee meetup and making the most of it can be a challenge. If you’re ready to master the power of the coffee meeting, put these tips into practice.

1. Start networking to build relationships

If networking makes you feel opportunistic or exploitative, you haven’t developed a healthy understanding of it. Approach networking as an opportunity to make new acquaintances and serve them, and you���ll be surprised to find networking is simply building relationships with new friends who have common business connections. There are many in person networking events to help you get started. Search Meetup.com, Eventbrite.com and Google for any professional organizations in your industry located near you to find a couple you’d like to try.

2. Strike up a conversation with a stranger and find similarities

Now that you’re networking like a friend, conversations will be easier to start, but making that first move can feel intimidating. Remember others are there to network too and welcome conversations. Here are a few opening questions you can try, “What made you decide to show up here today?” “What interested you about this event?” “How long have you lived here?” and when all else fails, talking about the weather really does work to spark a conversation with a stranger.

As your chat continues, be sure to search for things you have in common. Do you both like the same sports teams? Are you both avid cyclists? Maybe you both have a secret obsession with sloths. As humans, we’re hardwired to prefer people we have an affinity with. In fact, a study at Wellesley College and the University of Kansas surveyed 1,523 couples and found that 86% were together based on similarities and that this connection was even stronger among friendships. By discovering what you have in common, you are setting the stage for an eager yes to a coffee invitation.

3. Think of how you can help them

As your conversation unfolds, look for ways in which you can help this person. Do you have a contact who could offer valuable advice or a foot in the door? Do you have a book you could lend them on a topic they’re interested in? By establishing yourself early as someone who is here to help, this inclines a person to want to do the same for you in return.

4. Offer to continue the conversation over coffee

The goal of networking events is mingling, so you should aim to balance valuable quality conversations with as many people as possible. Think of these conversations as a set up for a longer face to face meeting later. Once you have established a good rapport with someone, suggest continuing the conversation over coffee sometime to chat further.

5. Exchange contact and location info

To close the conversation, inquire about their preferred communication method. It’s helpful to ask because some people may only check their Linkedin once every 6 months but respond to texts immediately. Set yourself up for success by confirming in advance.

Pro tip: Ask which part of town they live or work in and note that, so you can plan your coffee meetup near them. It’ll show your attention to detail and care for their schedule.

6. Follow up quickly

People’s memories can be short, especially at networking events where you meet many new people in a short amount of time. If you can, follow up the next day. Mention who you are and something notable you spoke about to jog their memory. Share what you appreciated in your initial conversation and ask if you can schedule a coffee meeting.

7. Follow up in 3 days if you don’t get a response

Don’t take it personally if you don’t hear back immediately. Most people are extremely busy on top of getting flooded with hundreds of emails each day, so it’s easy for some to fall through the cracks. Often a simple Re: subject line and a friendly, “Just checking in” is all someone needs to respond and get the ball rolling. You can do this one more time a few business days later if needed.

8. Make the meeting easy to schedule

The back and forth communication that comes with choosing the best place and time to meet can be such a hassle, it’s tempting to drop the idea of connecting face to face altogether. That’s where Meetify comes in.

Meetify makes it easy to coordinate in person meetings. Simply choose a few times you’re available and provide your location and the invitee’s or an area it’d be ideal to meet in. Meetify will send the invite, or you can copy the invite link and send it yourself.

Your invitee can select the time and location that works best for them (no login required), and they’ll have an easy way to add the meeting to their calendar. Plus, Meetify even allows the invitee to suggest alternate times and spots to meet if none of the options work for them.

9. Send a follow up reminder

A quick note the day before or morning of your meeting to let the other person know you’re looking forward to your time together will ensure the meeting doesn’t get dropped accidently. If you use Meetify, it’ll send the reminder for you.

10. Arrive early and prepared

This is not the time to assume you’ll hit every green light or skip train delays. Showing up for a coffee meeting flustered because you’re late means you’ll be working to smooth over the relationship rather than build it the first several minutes.

Be honest with yourself, if you typically arrive right on time or a bit late to meetings, double your estimated time in transit to allow for something to go wrong. By arriving early, you can find parking, pick the best table for optimal conversation and maybe even scope out the menu to suggest options for your guest. Arriving early also allows you to relax and remember what you’d like to cover in your conversation.

11. Project confidence

Be on the lookout for your guest’s arrival to greet them rather than making them wander aimlessly through the establishment to find you. Greet them with a smile and a firm handshake and thank them again for their time and presence. Your confidence and ease can allow them to be fully relaxed, which will open the door for a great connection between you.

12. Offer to pay

If you’re able, it goes a long way to offer to purchase their coffee. This small investment will show your gratitude and position you as a generous person in their memory. A little truly goes a long way in building relationships.

13. Put your phone away once you sit down

You probably already be aware that it is considered rude to constantly attend to alerts on your phone while meeting with someone, but did you know that just having your phone visible affects your focus? Studies at the University of Chicago have found that the more visible a phone is, the lower your cognitive capacity is. This negative correlation was found around memory function and intelligence and grew stronger as the phone went from another room to a pocket/bag and to sitting on the table. Only take out your phone if you want to note something from your conversation, and you only use digital devices for note taking.